


Had Enough.

by XetterYeonma (keusenon)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, M/M, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 20:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3823117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keusenon/pseuds/XetterYeonma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>bpd feels were too strong and hurtful today so i wrote this to vent</p>
            </blockquote>





	Had Enough.

It feels like a thousand arrows piercing through his heart. He felt his head swell up with doubt and anger before it poured out into pure sorrow. The urge to destroy the nearest object and the will to move anywhere out of his own bed contradict each other, causing waves of frustration and a never ending spiral of negativity. He kept it bottled up for so long that it exploded into a barrage of sobs that were out of his own build of a character.

Kuroo was at a loss, unable to fully understand how to exactly to help Kenma. Many times he saw Kenma sigh or grunt in frustration or even in anger, but never did he see Kenma burst out in angry tears with a voice that was never meant for shouts. The anger soon subsided into depression and agony, the sobs becoming less like an emotion and more like a pain that won't leave from his chest. It felt as if someone was pressing a thousand tons on his heart, a rope around his neck that kept tightening the more the tears fell from his amber eyes.

He never asked to be this way. He never asked to be alive in the first place. Kenma didn't asked to be the person he is now.

Clothes hiding the mutilation he did to himself nearly weekly, the way his eyes stopped shining and reflected a dull, lifeless colour at every moment. People soon turned into mannequins that moved past him daily, making him feel like an android that glitched and broke as soon as it arrived home. It was getting too much for him to live like this everyday and Kuroo having to push him to tell him what was wrong and what Kenma really wanted in his life made him snap. The crack in the wall of solitude he made for himself broke apart the cold stone and out flew a fire that was never meant to show.

He tried pushing Kuroo away, demanding that he doesn't want any sort of pity nor consolation that he knew was going to amount to nothing. He said to Kuroo that he hated him, that he was annoying and a pain in the ass each and everyday. None of that worked, Kuroo was as solid as a diamond shield against Kenma's harmful words. Kenma asked why. Why is Kuroo trying so hard to understand him? Why was he trying so damn hard to tell Kenma that he isn't alone, that he was never alone?

The pounding headache in his mind was like cement drilling into his skull, and he soon prayed that he could just go to sleep and wake up to a future where he never had to deal with living ever again. He felt Kuroo's arms wrap around Kenma, giving him an embrace that made him choke even more inside. The saltwater tears stained Kuroo's uniform, but that was the least of what the third year cared about. Kenma didn't hesitate to hide his face from the world into Kuroo's white shirt, shaking in sobs and barely breathing. Kuroo stayed near silent, whispering that he was there for Kenma. Even if Kenma hated him or wanted him dead, Kuroo would stop at nothing to make sure Kenma could smile once in a while, to make sure Kenma was at least 1% happier than yesterday. It was exhausting, this kind of life style. Kenma called Kuroo an idiot, and Kuroo smiled and said that he was an idiot who wants his best friend to be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> what a shitty excuse amiright i made kenma completely ooc but i couldnt give less than a shit right now yay depression amiright
> 
> at least, i hope this was good or smth


End file.
